The road were on

It has been 6 weeks that our simple, 'easy', blessed life took a complete 180. Not to say that we haven't been blessed in the past 6 weeks, because we have! So much so! God has taught us and grown us so, so much and has used his people in doing so. It is amazing to see the body of Christ rise up and see His people answer His call to serve.

6 weeks later and countless nights in the hospital and so many more sleepless nights, I am beyond tired. Not just physically tired but emotionally and mentally as well. It's draining watching your baby fight for his life and then continue to struggle and go through test after test and have risky procedures and there is nothing you can do. No time to really stop and think, just relying on the doctors. It helps to know that we are in the best hands with the best doctors and nurses in the best children's hospital in the nation. But it doesn't make it any easier.
I just want (need!) some rest.

Yes, it would be nice to get a solid 8 hours of sleep, but I know with a newborn that doesn't happen and I was prepared for that. I want rest from everything else. I want to go. Somewhere. Anywhere. Away from here, away from worries, away from everyday life. I just want a break a chance to breath and relax.
If it wasn't for Gods strength to carry me through and the prayers of others I would have broken down a long, long time ago. Every time I feel that I can't go on, can't do it any more, I get an extra boost. It might be from a text or phone call, or news from a doctor or just something from deep in me from the Holy Spirit.

Guys, prayer is real! Not that I didn't know that before, or believe it, but its different when you actually physically FEEL it. I can't explain it, I just hope that all of you get to experience it some day. I don't wish anything bad on you, but its awesome to be able to feel the love of others and God.

I want to thank y'all for helping to carry us through this time and for your continued prayers as its not over yet. I look forward to the day it is though! And an super thankful that we will hit a time when this is in our past. So many families we meet don't get to be that lucky.

This post went completely a different way than I had originally thought. I wanted to talk about missed milestones, and not having a 1 or 2 month photo shoot from being in the hospital. At least I have a good excuse for not having as many baby photos for Noah. :-)

Speaking of photos...

It Sucks

There's no way around it, it just plan sucks. No parent should have to go through it, yet as I look around so, so many are. It's just not fair. Babies are meant to be cuddled and loved on, not strapped to 20 thousand machines and getting poked and prodded every hour.

Having another kid at home makes it that much harder. How can a parent chose between 2 kids? You have a newborn fighting to breath and who should be solely reliant on you, and you can't do a thing for them. And then you have a toddler who is aware that you aren't around and is misplaced from his home and routine. How do you choose?

You have doctors who freak you out by throwing everything at you and then don't tell you things that do matter.

And then you think about the future and get yourself into a whole other
mental mess.

There are so many verses out there about worrying and how God doesn't give you more than you can handle, which are nice truths to know and hold on to but that doesn't change how you feel as a parent

Very fitting that this happen over the Easter holiday when God had to watch his son suffer. How Jesus took on all our crap because of how much He loves us because there is nothing more I would love to do right now than take this away from Noah.

Thanks for listening to me vent and for all your prayers. They truly are being felt.

Noah this morning on his new CPAP machine getting a sonogram of his heart.

How's it Going?

That's the question I get all the time now. Adjusting to life with a newborn can be challenging. Adjusting to life with a newborn AND a toddler? It's a different kind of challenging. It's more about prioritizing and learning how to juggle the needs of 2 kids than the initial figuring out what to do.

To me it's been an easier change than when when we just had Logan. Now I didn't say it was easy, but a different kind of challenging. Noah's easy. He eats and sleeps (well up till a day or 2 ago) it's the testing 2 year old that I have my battles with.

Not getting my required 8-9 hours of sleep doesn't help my patience with him either. I really can't complain. I've had it easy. People were shocked that I had both boys out on my own by day 8. For me it's easier to get out than stay in.

It isn't a cakewalk though. We have our problems. Take today for example. I think Noah is going through a growth spurt. In the 12 hours from last night to this morning he ate 8 times! And every time I laid him down he was awake within 5 minutes wanting to cuddle. Needless to say this momma didn't get much sleep.
As he started to stir this morning Logan started yelling for me to get him out of his crib. So I freed L and decided I would quickly go to the bathroom and put my contacts in before I fed the baby again. Noah didn't like that and was full out screaming by the time i picked him up to changed his diaper. In the mean time Logan let both cats in the room and they were wreaking havoc wanting their breakfast. Of course something was bugging my contact so bad I could barely open my left eye that I had to put a starving, screaming baby back in his bed while I tried to clean off my contact with 2 cats on the bathroom counter begging ie. rubbing all over me for food.
Then out of nowhere Logan starts crying and grabbing his diaper yelling ouch!!!

I shove the contact back in my eye, scoop up a screaming baby and follow the toddler across the hall to his room for a change. As I'm changing him I notice something isn't right. We decide its best to have some naked time. I feed the baby and put him in his swing still awake and then feed L and myself. As I finish baby wants to eat, again.
Toddler wants to sit on potty and I'm a happy momma. 5 minutes later he wants down without doing anything. Next thing I know there is pee running down his leg and all over the floor. Time to clean up.

Everything seems chill for a moment and I decide to cut up the pineapple that has been on our counter all week. 2 minutes later I hear a crash and hear Logan crying. I run out to see blood on the couch, on his face and the floor! Thank goodness it wasn't serious and he was asking for the pineapple before I had him all cleaned up.

Did I mention that was all before 10am? Oh and that the cats spilt not one but two cups of water?

So when you ask how we're doing and I say "good", I'm not lying and it doesn't mean we have it all together. It just means that in comparison to how it could be going its good. That and I haven't shed any tears yet that day. :-)

These 2 make everything worth it :-)

What did your kids (human or fur) do today?

Noah Thomas

Early Wednesday morning on March 6th we welcomed Noah Thomas into our family! He's a big boy just like his brother weighing in at 8pounds 10ounces and 21 inches. He was considered 4 days early but going by his size I think his ultrasound due date was more accurate making him 1 day late.
It was a very quick delivery but you'll have to stay posted for the birth story.

We are completely in love!!!

30 Weeks!

Umm what?!?!?! How the heck am I at 30 weeks already?!?!?! I haven't published a preggo post since 20 weeks. I was at the halfway point, now I only have a 1/4 to go.

Things have been going pretty well. Aches and feeling preggo have slowly been creeping in, but not enough to complain. If I clean too much or am on my feet running around (like I did before Christmas trying to get the house together) I exhaust myself and have brought on some BH, but nothing major thank goodness.

I took my glucose tolerance test a few weeks ago and failed it :-/ Which resulted in me having to take the 3 hour test a few days ago. I have my next prenatal appointment this upcoming week, so I'm praying I don't hear anything about it. I also only gained 1 pound at my last appointment, and according to the scale this morning I've only gained about a pound since then, so I'm hoping I don't get yelled at.

How far along: 30 weeks

Total weight gain: About 16.5 pounds!

Baby is the size of: A butternut squash (again)

What's going on with the babe: About 3 pound and about 17 inches long head to toe...crazy to think that the babe is going to put on another 5 pounds give or take if he/she is going to weigh close to what Logan did! That's like 1/2 a pound a week!

Maternity clothing: I'm home most of the time, so I live in my normal sweats, but when I go out, maternity pants are almost like sweats :-) I was *finally* able to find a black belly band so I'll be able to wear my normal jeans a bit more. (Side note, at 27 weeks I was actually able to BUTTON a pair of my normal sized jeans!) My tops are a mix of maternity and normal.


Sleep: Surprisingly it's been pretty good, aside from the heartburn. My left side is the best, which is funny because with Logan it was my back, basically sitting up.

Movement: Has definitely been picking up! Kev can feel it like crazy and it's fun to watch my belly dance.

Cravings/Aversions: Christmas cookies? Honestly, I really haven't had any.

Symptoms: The normal aches...mainly my hips, but if I hold Logan to long my lower back starts to hurt. Although I think a 28-ish pound toddler would do that to anyone :-) Heartburn has got it's grip on me as well. I think it's almost every night that I have to take a Tums. No fun, but not the end of the world...only 10 more weeks of it!

How this pregnancy is different than the first: Mainly having a toddler...life revolves around him, just like in his pregnancy, life revolved all things baby, now it's all thing toddlers. I feel bad that this kid is getting neglected already. I also feel more preggo but I think that goes along with what I just said.

How's the big brother was this week: He got his toddler bed for Christmas and took his first nap in it! He lasted about 40 minutes, which is fairly close to a normal nap, so I'll take it. Temper tantrums are becoming more prominent over every.little.thing. He copies everything, which is cute, and he's big into saying 'ouch' and trying to get you to kiss whatever he might have hurt.

The best moment(s) of this past week: Christmas! We have had lots of time with family and it's been awesome!

Don't mind Logan's toys that have migrated to our room or the unmade bed

 Part of me wants the next 10 weeks to fly by so I can meet this little person and begin to feel normal again. But the other part of me wants it to take it's good old time so I can enjoy my time with Logan and as a family of 3...not to mention that I said I wasn't doing anything baby-wise until after Christmas, which means I have to get my butt in gear and get things pulled out of the attic and sorted and washed, and figure out what we need.... ahhh!!!!


And if you care to compare here's my 29 week post with Logan and my 31 week post.

An iWhat?

Everyone these days seem to be obsessed with having some sort of an Apple product. If not they have a smartphone of some kind. An then you have me. Living in the dark ages with a phone that's circa 2009 and not only doesn't have any Internet capabilities but also only has an 1 inch screen!

Luckily I am blessed enough to have a younger brother who has recently updated his phone and generously handed down his old iPhone to me! I don't have an internet plan so I can't use it as my phone but as long as I have wifi it works great!

So now I can join all the cool kids and have an electronic to play on :-) Instagram here I come!

Now to figure everything out...

While the little one trashes his room...

20 Weeks with Baby #2

Can't believe I'm past the halfway point already!!!  This pregnancy is going way to quick! Not sure if I'm ready to take care of 2 little ones yet.

How far along: 20 weeks and 3 days! (Or 21 weeks going by the baby measurements)

Total weight gain: As of my appointment last week I was up 8 pounds!

Baby is the size of: A banana

What's going on with the babe: About 10.5 ounces and about 10 inches long head to toe and starting to swallow

Maternity clothing: I've tried to wear maternity pants a few times and they just don't work! They are constantly falling down and are baggy around my legs and butt. Much rather stick with the belly band or even some normal pants still! Shirts are all pre-preggo

Sleep: It was pretty good for awhile there, but now I'm restless. I've been tossing and turning the past few nights. And that's not an easy task! lol

Movement: Not as much as Logan, but I feel her 'swimming' around occasionally. Especially at night when I lay down. I guess it's the only time I'm not running around chasing a toddler :-)


Cravings/Aversions: Candy corn pumpkins. I'm just blaming that on the babe, because I always get it this time of year :-)

Symptoms: The normal aches...mainly my hips, but if I hold Logan to long my lower back starts to hurt. The exhaustion is finally letting up, or maybe I'm just getting used to it? Oh, and still peeing all the time!

How this pregnancy is different than the first: This kid is riding a lot lower than Logan did. Also, I can't stop and enjoy every step, I'm busy chasing after the kid that isn't permanently(for now at least) attached to me. I remember hitting the halfway point with Logan and being so excited and couldn't believe it. With this poor kid, I woke up and was like 'oh halfway, YAY! Okay, time to make breakfast and do some laundry and then we have to...'

How's the big brother was this week: Big brother has had a rough week. I don' know if it's a cold, or teething, or a growth spurt or what, but he's been a bear. We have meltdowns all the time, but on an up note he's been napping longer. Yay!

The best moment(s) of this past week: Seeing 'FALL' We went up to Springton Manor and it was gorgeous! Oh, and we got our ultrasound today! ;-)

Baby was being stubborn or shy and wouldn't give us a profile pic :-/ We do have a creepy one of her looking at us though :-) Heartrate was at 156 and she loved waving hi and playing with her hands!

I'm looking forward to: Seeing my SIL this weekend who's a month ahead of me.

And the bump...

I feel super thick so don't judge :-)

Oh, and the link to my 19 and 21 week post with Logan