It Sucks

There's no way around it, it just plan sucks. No parent should have to go through it, yet as I look around so, so many are. It's just not fair. Babies are meant to be cuddled and loved on, not strapped to 20 thousand machines and getting poked and prodded every hour.

Having another kid at home makes it that much harder. How can a parent chose between 2 kids? You have a newborn fighting to breath and who should be solely reliant on you, and you can't do a thing for them. And then you have a toddler who is aware that you aren't around and is misplaced from his home and routine. How do you choose?

You have doctors who freak you out by throwing everything at you and then don't tell you things that do matter.

And then you think about the future and get yourself into a whole other
mental mess.

There are so many verses out there about worrying and how God doesn't give you more than you can handle, which are nice truths to know and hold on to but that doesn't change how you feel as a parent

Very fitting that this happen over the Easter holiday when God had to watch his son suffer. How Jesus took on all our crap because of how much He loves us because there is nothing more I would love to do right now than take this away from Noah.

Thanks for listening to me vent and for all your prayers. They truly are being felt.

Noah this morning on his new CPAP machine getting a sonogram of his heart.